Trust in Him

Today was just one of those Sunday's that testified to me that the gospel is true. I cannot exactly explain what makes me say that or why exactly, but it is a feeling that I haven't quite mastered putting into words just yet. You just feel God's love for you in a serene, indescribable way. You just see and hear everything and it all just makes sense.

I finished watching all The District episodes today. Parts of them made tears roll off my face a fall onto my bed spread. Seeing people's lives change for the better. People who hadn't expected or even wanted to change a little while before. People who didn't even think of a life existing after this one on earth. People who were already Christians. Members who had fallen away. A Catholic husband who's wife and family were members. All of these people changing to follow Christ's example. It is incredible how such young Elders and Sisters have so much power to help people come to know the truth.

Watching those episodes made me ecstatic... and honestly scared out of my mind. I feel so inadequate. So unprepared. But I know Heavenly Father will qualify me after I have tried my best. I know I will be set apart with specific powers as a representative of Christ to do His work.

I feel like one of the scariest things will be having investigators who have found the truth and have felt the Spirit testify to them of it, but for some reason or another stop trying. I know a mission is full of disappointments, that's just life; however, I know that if I am doing my best out there, there will be moments of joy that will extinguish all the sorrow I might feel and I can have hope that those who let go of the message will once again pick it up in the future.

I don't know what exactly lies ahead of me in my future post-mission. Continuing at BYU obviously. Majoring in Communication Disorders, yes. But how will I pay off my loans and also pay for school and living? Do I want a Minor... Spanish, ASL, none? Jobs? Marriage? Children? Will my brothers find their way back to the gospel? Will my whole family ever be sealed?

All these things I don't know. But I am not going to worry about it. I am not going to worry about the past, it is behind me. I am not going to fret about my future, it is out of reach. What I can grasp now is the present. I can enjoy it. I can test my faith and live obediently. I know that if I live my life now with an eye single to the glory of God having faith in Christ, fulfilling my current purpose, my future purpose will be revealed to me and I will be prepared for it.

I am promised that if I do what I feel is important to me at each stage in my life, I will have a foundation that I can build the rest of my life upon. I believe that. A mission is what is right for me right now. I am blessed to be worthy of representing the Lord for 18 months in Washington. I am deciding now to never lose my worthiness. I look forward to those months in which my faith, testimony, and reliance and relationship with the Lord will grow.

Here's a little quote that I really enjoyed. :)