Bun Head: The Story of My Mission Picture

Okay. This might sound like a completely stupid post, but honestly at the moment it was a big deal to me. The little details during the paperwork process were for some reason gigantic for me.

Let's go back to the day I had an interview with my stake president to finally submit my mission papers. I was then at BYU and it was a fairly cold night and I most likely had a long day of going to classes or doing laundry and homework or something. I got dressed and ready, put my hair in a nice braided bun, threw on my big black coat, and was off.

(Pre-interview because I was so excited. Wanted to show my mama.)

I get in there and everything is fine. Just waiting. Then one of his counselors, or someone else who worked in the stake, looks through my papers and stuff and mutters to himself hmmmm.

This was the picture.

Me: Uh, hmmm what?

Him: Oh it's just the background on your picture is really dark and I think they don't want that in the mission picture.

Me: Really? I mean, I saw it said a plain background and I thought a solid black curtain worked perfectly for that...

Him: Welll I dunnnno. If you submit it with this picture it might get sent back and then it would take a couple more weeks to re-submit everything over again.


*SECRET MENTAL BREAKDOWN*

What?! I literally had my roommates take pictures of me every Sunday for weeks, uploaded them, and then sent them to my mom to ask which one I should use. Guys may not care, but for us sisters, or me at least... that picture literally would be the face the General Authorities would be looking at. The face that would help determine where on this entire earth I would be sent for 18 months. This was NOT a small deal. And again, after preparing myself for the night I had mentally planned on submitting them TONIGHT. I had planned when my family was going to come up from California to Utah so they could be there with me while I opened it. I did NOT want to have it be re-submitted. I couldn't risk it.

Me: So what do we do?
Him: Oh, well I can take a picture right now with your phone. Come on, go stand against that wall.
Me: Oh my gosh. I'm wearing a bun. Not even a side bun or anything. A bun! I will look bald. I would NEVER have worn my hair like this or worn this outfit had I known I was going to take a picture!
Him: You look fine. Come on. (what a guy)
Me: Alright.

Little did he know I was dying inside. I don't know, but I plan things out so I can know what to expect. I like having things done and ready so I know what's going on. This wasn't what I wanted at all. I literally could feel my eyes get that initial glaze over them. I could have cried. I was pathetic. But I put on a strong face and acted like I didn't care.

*TAKES A PICTURE*

Him: How bout this? (it was COMPLETELY blurry)
Me: Oh, no. Can you take another one please?

*TAKES A PICTURE*

Him: Here. You look great in this one! (I didn't, but it was getting awkward, so I gave in)
Me: Not really, but it probably won't get any better. Just go for it.

Here it be.
The awkwardly-off-centered-black-coated-grey-t-shirted-bun-headed-picture in it's glory.

He printed it out. I had the interview. My papers were submitted. And that was that.

I literally stressed about it ridiculously thinking that that picture changed my mission's destiny or something. Like that picture would flaw my whole 18 months. Doom me to some place I didn't belong. My eyes burned as I stared at the image of myself in my phone trying to force myself to think it was a decent picture. It wasn't hideous or anything, but it just wasn't ideal. It wasn't right. It only looked worse the more I looked at it. I swallowed and tried to accept my miserable fate. There was nothing I could do about it. Whyyy did I wear my hair in a bun?! Whyyyy!?!?!

Two weeks later I got my call. Washington Federal Way it said. I cried joyful tears and it was perfect.

Afterwards I saw many other people's mission pictures that had all sorts of backgrounds: temples, trees, the beach. It made me think What the heck? A black curtain was too distracting?

Honestly, my papers probably wouldn't have been sent back. I don't know if I would be serving in a different area or not, but this funny little experience opened my eyes. Perhaps, this little event happened for a reason. I know many people regard their mission calls to be individual and perfect for themselves, which is awesome and totally true and I believe mine is for myself as well; however, I do not think we would each only be successful missionaries in that area ONLY. I think of it like marriage. There is more than one perfectly good candidate and it would be absolutely fine if you married any one of them. But you only choose one. You only fall in love with that one and because he's the one... he becomes perfect for you. Your mission call is perfect for you because that's what you're assigned. If you were assigned somewhere else, that mission would be perfect for you.

Washington Federal Way is perfect for me. I don't know what to expect, but I know that's where I need to be now. If it took my silly little freak out session over a stinkin' picture to get me there, well then I am grateful for that. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride. There is no time to be vain. No time to worry about ourselves so much and complain and to have self pity. There is time only to be obedient, submit to the will of the Father, and be thankful for what you're blessed with.

As a sweet little reminder, I have my not so attractive black-coated, bun-headed picture on my missionary portal to remind me everyday... and after that, my ID card at the MTC. Hahaha! Life is wonderful and my bun-head shall live on! ;D

The Temple

For those of you who don't have the slightest clue about Temples or are curious about them, I suggest clicking this link to learn more:  

Questions about LDS Temples

YES. Today was the day. I just want to say, and I was reminded by the Temple President that... although going through the temple is required before serving a mission, today had nothing to do with my mission. Nothing to do with Washington or Preach My Gospel. It was a completely separate and disconnected event. More important than my mission in fact.

Encouragement, kindness, and comfort comes from those in the temple.

The feelings you have are of absolute peace.


It's image is pristine and beautiful inside and out.

You can forget the world, focus on things that matter.

Welcoming and yet sacredly guarded, it stands as a building that beacons all to enter it.

It was a privilege. An honor. A gift to be able to enter the House of the Lord.

I feel renewed. Strengthened. Empowered. Protected. Dedicated. And loved beyond belief.   

I obviously cannot talk about everything in detail because the ceremonies within the temples are held at the highest spectrum of sacredness within the church. Some people might question this and claim we are a religion of secrecy and "cult" like practices. And this is what I have to say to that...




1. Imagine this. You have a personal and meaningful conversation with your mother, or someone very close and important to you. The conversation was just between you two. You held it very dear to your heart. The content of the conversation was nothing out of the ordinary or unnatural, but under the circumstances is held value. Then all the sudden so-and-so comes up blabbering on about what you and your mom were talking about. Your mom apparently told people. The conversation seems to have lost all importance. It is not that meaningful one-on-one moment you shared together. It would no longer be cherished.

This is much like the situation of the temple. Inside of the temple, nothing is particularly out of the ordinary.  But the experience you have is personal and meaningful. Your endowment is a gift that you cherish. If we went around blabbering on about what happens, the temple ordinances would lose their value. To repeat the extremely repeated phrase, the confidentiality of the temple is not because it is secret, but because it is sacred. And surely there is not a single member of the church who wouldn't love for every person on earth to be able to go inside and participate in temple work... I don't think that's being very secretive.

2. If you find guidance, being surrounded by family and friends, loving the Lord, following the commandments, lifting anothers' burdens, finding peace, understanding the world, praying, following Christ's example, being obedient, keeping bodies healthy, having faith, trusting God, being charitable, or extending forgiveness as "strange" or "sinister" than I suppose we are a cult. Funny thing is that the synonyms for cult are worship, religion, and adoration. If that's the case I believe there are a lot more cults on this earth than we think.

A Couple Little Mission Crafties

I just took a 3- ring binder and made this cute little cover for it. I'm going to have my mom print out my weekly emails and put my letters I send home in plastic inserts to put in the folder. By the time my 18 months are up I will have my own compiled journal full of all of my letters/emails. :)

Also, I have a quick and easy little quote book that I made. Each Sunday at church there is a quote on the program. I just saved the programs and cut the quotes out. Fold card stock papers into 4 squares, cut 'em out, and glue 'em on. Hole punch 2 holes and put in the rings. Simple as that. Lightweight little thang.

I didn't have to go searching out my favorite quotes, they were given and I used them and trust me they area all meaningful. Each can be applied to being a better person, member, and missionary. I wanted to keep it simple with "Just 14 Little Quotes." That's a quote each day for two weeks and I think they will be easily reused. I plan on using this to help my scripture study; I'll write the references along the colored edges as I go. I think it will be fun and useful. :)

My Three Men

There are three men on this earth who mean so much to me. 
My dad and my brothers.

No matter what they've done, what they're doing, or what they will do I will ALWAYS love them.

That doesn't mean I will always like their choices, but it means I will ALWAYS want the best for them.

My family isn't a very sentimental, touchy one. I don't know why. That's just the way things came out. It's hard for us to say I love you. It's difficult to talk about feelings or anything somewhat emotional. Well, not really between me and my mom, but other than that it's just out of our comfort zone. That's just the way we are and it's fine. Although, sometimes because of this missing affection, I feel like we don't get to express our appreciation for each other nearly as often as we should.

Dad. I want you to know that I know you work hard, relentlessly even, to give us everything we need. I know you've worked since you were a teenager... basically without a dad yourself. I honor you for taking your dad's example and learning from him, so you wouldn't follow his footsteps. There are some men in this world who are handed things, and you weren't one of them. You work for them. I know there are opportunities you feel like you weren't given. College or a mission perhaps, but I want you to know that you are accomplished in my eyes and one of the most important accomplishments you've completed is choosing mom to be your wife for eternity. Cherish her. Yes, it is probably true that you won't be able to retire early or sail around the world or buy all the outdoor toys you want, but you still dream. There is a light in your eyes you get when you have those dreams and when you're out in nature; I don't ever want to see that light dim. You may not get all the things you want in this stage of life, but who's to say you won't in the next? I say you've worked hard enough to deserve everything. From all the science fair projects to giving me that love for nature and the outdoors, my life would not be the same without you and I wouldn't trade you for any father in the world. Also, I know you have a testimony of the gospel. I am so proud you know Christ's Atonement is real. You're an example to us all. I love you.

Donald. I want you to know that you're going to make it. I am so proud of you going through with your college and everything. It's not easy to go back, but you did and you exemplified so much strength. It is incredible how much talent you've always had. From music to art to acting to unicycling (haha) you are filled to the brim with talents that other people would love to have. I look up to you and it's obvious; seeing you act and play guitar made me want to do that as well. I am so grateful for that because without my memories of acting or without knowing guitar my life would not be filled with as much happiness that it is now. On top of this, you're sense of humor will literally never get old and keep me smiling forever. Despite all these talents you possess, you are humble. Humbleness is a quality much of the world lacks nowadays and your possession of it never ceases to impress me. I want you to know that I know you're a genuine guy. I know you have choices you regret, we all do. I hope you haven't forgotten that all those things can be removed.

If you ever want to start fresh, you know where to go. If you ever feel like something is missing, you know what it is. If you ever want answers, I know of a book that can answer them all and I'm sure I'll have a pretty good supply of them for about 18 months. ;) I just want you to know that the gospel sometimes seems like it's about being perfect and that you can't make mistakes; funny thing is we have the gospel because there was only one perfect man who has ever walked this earth. Because of Him, our mistakes can be erased. I just want you to know that I have a testimony of the gospel and I want to be your little sister forever. I love you.

Brian. You were my closest brother growing up. We used to make stop motion videos and play with cars together. You were so loving and good hearted. You cared and had a love for life. You've always had a knack for literally everything athletic and you are always insanely talented in everything you try. From motorcycles to bicycles to roller blades to skate boards you always picked them right up. I don't know what happened, but at some point you must have doubted yourself when all of us truly believed in you and so you got lost a little. Went down the path of things not so good for you. Things that literally changed who you were. Things that are slowly pulling your amazing personality away. Things that make you feel and act in a manner you would have never allowed yourself to before. You're not where you want to be in life right now, but I don't think you understand THAT IT CAN CHANGE. You're sooo much smarter, stronger, and more capable than you think you are.

You think we don't care about you, but that is the furthest possible thing from the truth. It's just hard. It's hard to watch someone you care about dig themselves down deeper and deeper. It's heartbreaking to watch them be unhappy. It's frustrating and we don't know what to do. Our words don't seem to sink in. I don't think you know how many people pray for you every night. How many times I have literally fallen asleep crying for you and pleading to my Heavenly Father that He would give you the strength to get that light back in your eyes. I always think man when will it hit him, when will he want to change; but all I can keep doing is praying and loving you. I want you to know that no matter how many times you give up on yourself I will NEVER give up on you because I love you and I KNOW you have an amazing heart. I KNOW you have it in you to change and to become successful and truly happy because I sometimes see glimpses of that Brian we all used to know. You have a good heart. I KNOW it. I KNOW there's a fight within you and I KNOW where you can find that strength. Pray. Ask for help. WANT help. Do it. You just have to do it. I don't want to cry for you anymore unless they're happy tears. Stop those things that have changed you. You know they don't really make you happy. STOP them and work at it. I don't care if you're 50 by the time reality really hits you and you make that change, but I'd say the sooner the better. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can be happy and that's what we all want for you. Regardless of anything and everything, you'll always be my curly haired older brother who could sound like Cap'n Crunch. And I will always love you.

I just want you three to know I love you and I have a testimony of Christ's gospel. He doesn't care where you've been, He cares about where you're going and how He will help you get there. Brothers, I know that you guys still have a testimony or at least a belief that His gospel is true and that's enough to work with. You may not be doing exactly what is suggested or required, but I hope that one day you can humble yourselves. The more you live it, the more you love it, and the more you know it is true. Go talk to a bishop. Get things straightened out. Don't think you're the only ones that have done these things because you're not.

People make mistakes. Bishops are there to love and help you, not to put you down. I know that's true. I have faith in both of you and I know one day your hearts will need something more than any material thing earth has to offer, you will want something more and that something more is the knowledge and hope that comes through the gospel. We may not talk all the time, but I don't want to lose the relationships we have. I want to be a family forever with you guys. Know I pray for both of you everyday. I believe in you.

Trust in Him

Today was just one of those Sunday's that testified to me that the gospel is true. I cannot exactly explain what makes me say that or why exactly, but it is a feeling that I haven't quite mastered putting into words just yet. You just feel God's love for you in a serene, indescribable way. You just see and hear everything and it all just makes sense.

I finished watching all The District episodes today. Parts of them made tears roll off my face a fall onto my bed spread. Seeing people's lives change for the better. People who hadn't expected or even wanted to change a little while before. People who didn't even think of a life existing after this one on earth. People who were already Christians. Members who had fallen away. A Catholic husband who's wife and family were members. All of these people changing to follow Christ's example. It is incredible how such young Elders and Sisters have so much power to help people come to know the truth.

Watching those episodes made me ecstatic... and honestly scared out of my mind. I feel so inadequate. So unprepared. But I know Heavenly Father will qualify me after I have tried my best. I know I will be set apart with specific powers as a representative of Christ to do His work.

I feel like one of the scariest things will be having investigators who have found the truth and have felt the Spirit testify to them of it, but for some reason or another stop trying. I know a mission is full of disappointments, that's just life; however, I know that if I am doing my best out there, there will be moments of joy that will extinguish all the sorrow I might feel and I can have hope that those who let go of the message will once again pick it up in the future.

I don't know what exactly lies ahead of me in my future post-mission. Continuing at BYU obviously. Majoring in Communication Disorders, yes. But how will I pay off my loans and also pay for school and living? Do I want a Minor... Spanish, ASL, none? Jobs? Marriage? Children? Will my brothers find their way back to the gospel? Will my whole family ever be sealed?

All these things I don't know. But I am not going to worry about it. I am not going to worry about the past, it is behind me. I am not going to fret about my future, it is out of reach. What I can grasp now is the present. I can enjoy it. I can test my faith and live obediently. I know that if I live my life now with an eye single to the glory of God having faith in Christ, fulfilling my current purpose, my future purpose will be revealed to me and I will be prepared for it.

I am promised that if I do what I feel is important to me at each stage in my life, I will have a foundation that I can build the rest of my life upon. I believe that. A mission is what is right for me right now. I am blessed to be worthy of representing the Lord for 18 months in Washington. I am deciding now to never lose my worthiness. I look forward to those months in which my faith, testimony, and reliance and relationship with the Lord will grow.

Here's a little quote that I really enjoyed. :)

It's About Time for My Pre-Mish Bucket List

Pre-Mission Bucket/To-Do List

• Hike 100 miles... let's make that 50 for BEFORE the mission/50 after the mission, before BYU 
• may not achieve because I've barely decided this with only 7 weeks left
• ....but I'll do what I can
• 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10
• 11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20
• 21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30
• 31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40
• 41  42  43  44  45  46  47  48  49  50
• 51  52  53  54  55  56  57  58  59  60
• 61  62  63  64  65  66  67  68  69  70
• 71  72  73  74  75  76  77  78  79  80
• 81  82  83  84  85  86  87  88  89  90
• 91  92  93  94  95  96  97  98 99 100
• Go to the beach
• Have a Sandra Bullock movie marathon
• Reunite with old friends... more than once
• Make at least 9 YouTube video song covers
• I will have my friend post them on FB every two months that I'm gone
•  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9
• Read a book
• Finish The Book of Mormon again
• Finish Pre-MTC Training
• Make an exercise book
• Make a little book of quotes
• Buy:
• glasses
• watch
• iPod
• shirts
• Fill up my iPod with mission music
• Figure out my financial situation
• Make a little money so I can have some when I get home
• Go to Catalina
• Lose 5 lbs
• 1  2  3  4  5
• Become the Black Widow again
• I used to be able to climb a certain course at the gym; this gave me the title of Black Widow. I have since lost the ability to make it up. I want to regain that ability.
• Make a copy of my Patriarchal Blessing
• Make a copy of my Mission Call
• Go to a single's ward event
• Deep clean my room again

Self Image

It's hard sometimes. It really is. You see others and, although we shouldn't, we compare. Well maybe it's not even so much comparing as it is saying to ourselves "if only this" and "if only that." Or at least I find myself doing this. If you don't, I commend you.

There's just a couple issues. 

One, who made up what is beautiful?

Somehow I seem to skip over that question and continue to depreciate myself, knowing I won't meet the world's idea of beautiful. Truth is, the world should not define what beauty is. We need to look for higher sources than the world for the definition of beauty.

Two, skinny is not the same as healthy.

I also forget that. So often our eyes are slammed with gorgeous and extremely thin women. The word "fat" is uttered from so many people's mouths and captured in so many head lines, mostly with cruel tones. Diets, diet pills, diet foods, diet drinks, diet, diet, diet. Commercials, billboards, movies. All filled with the same message. Skinny is beautiful. We need to remember that is not true. Sure, it can be. But HEALTHY is better.

It's true. I sometimes have a hard time accepting my image... I feel like that will be a lifelong battle--- do I accept myself the way I am or strive to improve the way I look? I want to change that battle a little. I want to always accept myself, WHILE improving myself and remaining healthy (making sure I keep a check on what improving myself means.)

Sure, I won't ever be a size 0, but I can carry all the groceries in with one trip.
Yeah, I'm always gonna have that little pouch, but I can belt out laughs straight from that same source.
True, it sometimes looks like I have two chins, but the second one is usually from smiling.
Yes, my thighs touch, but I can run 4 or more miles without stopping.

Now hear me out. I am not trying to say we should strive to be bigger, or that being heavier is better. I'm only trying to say being your most healthy self  is better. Whether that means you're a size 0 or a size 10 doesn't matter. If that's where your body, mind, and spirit are healthy and you feel pride in yourself then so be it. By all means, cut your food intake or exercise a little more or join Jenny Craig if that's what you think will make you happier and healthier and more confident. I still want to lose a few pounds because I think that will make me healthier and more confident. It's all unique to the individual.

I hadn't heard of this before I started this post, but a current issue with Ambercrombie & Fitch is pretty popular. Take a look.

I usually love to hear what Ellen has to say; and in this case I did:

This is a link to a beautiful, witty letter from a father to Ambercrombie & Fitch CEO:

Father to CEO

This is the content of the page:

"Open letter to Abercrombie & Fitch CEO, Mike Jeffries:
Dear Mr. Jeffries,
If you believe the adage “all press is good press,” then the last 10 days have been great to you. You and your brand have been mentioned in unflattering terms on virtually every television news network, in many newspapers, websites and from one end of the blogosphere to the other.

You've taken quite a beating. If this were a heavyweight fight, your trainer would have already thrown in the towel and ordered your new teeth.

Why so many punches? A book by author Robin Lewis, “The New Rules of Retail,” has breathed new life into an interview you gave to Salon in 2006. Hidden among your quotes we find this golden nugget: “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong (in our clothes), and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”

Yes, I’d say that definitely qualifies as candid.

Let’s be clear: I’m a capitalist and a free-market guy. I support your right to run your business however you’d like and to exercise your freedom of speech, whether I agree with it or not.
I also enjoy that same freedom. Mind if I share?

You have the right to keep the lights low at Abercrombie & Fitch. I have the right to say your stores are so dark, shoppers should get a Maglite with every purchase. You have the right to pipe fragrances into the air conditioning and heating systems. I have the right to tell you the scents are so strong, shoppers smell like they’ve been waterboarded with perfume.

How about the unrelenting, heavy-beat tunes? You’re welcome to crank up the volume, by all means. But I’m free to tell you it’s loud enough you should probably be sister companies with Beltone.

You’re free to hire tan cool-kid models that also double as sales associates. I'm free to point out they’re all so thin they don’t need your clothes, they need a Pop-Tart. Most of them look like their legs could fit into the paper sleeve of a Pixy Stix.

Yes, you have the freedom in this country to run your business this way. You can reject plus-size clothing and the customers who buy them. What you cannot do, Mr. Jeffries, is tell us what’s beautiful. Corporate America doesn’t define beauty, the soul does.

I am the father of two teenage daughters and I think they’re stunningly beautiful, no matter what size they wear. They’re far from perfect, but they're lovely because of who they are and what they stand for, not for how they look. I hope most parents would say the same about their own kids.

Beauty isn’t about waist size or what label we wear. Beauty is how we see people, serve people and love people. Beauty is demonstrated in the way we treat others, especially when we disagree with them or when they look different from us.

Mr. Jeffries, I’m sure you’re a good man and you’ve achieved a great deal of success. I applaud you for that. But please don’t tell America’s young adults that beauty is in the brand.

Fads fade, but beauty is eternal.

Sincerely,

                                                  Jason Wright, father of teenage girls"

Dear Mama,

 It's Mother's Day today and I was just thinking about how the next time I'll talk to my mom on Mother's Day will be through Skype next year. I just wanted to tell my mom I appreciate her in every way possible, although my actions and words may not always express that gratitude. No one can say they know me as well as my mother knows me. She will forever and always be my closest and best friend. Not many daughters would trust their mom to go out and shop for clothes for them, but I trust her. We often find ourselves running over to each other from across a store with some shirt or something and as we go to show each other, we find out it is the exact same one. We KNOW each other. She understands my unique way of describing things. She is the one I talk to when I feel sick, worried, excited, or over whelmed. She has encouraged and uplifted me. She has pushed me to strive for excellence. She has put up with my embarrassing ways since I was a little girl and continues to do so. She is the epitome of strength, love, courage, and forgiveness. She is not a quitter. She loves with her whole heart and has an incredible empathy for all living things. She is dedication. She is charity. She is my mother and I love her.

She'll never think she is smart enough, but she is.
She'll never think she has accomplished enough, but she has.
She'll never think she has given her children as much as they deserve, but she's given us more.
She'll never think she is beautiful, but she is beyond that.
She'll never think she has given us as many opportunities as we could have had, but she has.
She'll never think she has done enough, but she has done enough and then some.
She'll never think she is role model, but she's mine.
She'll never think she has enough power to make a difference, but she made me and my brothers.


Dear Mama,
             You're more than you think and you mean more to us than you'll ever know.

                                           I love you. 

                                                                   Mikayla (Gorg)

I Wish, I Hope, I Live

I wish my parents knew how much I appreciate them.
I wish my brothers knew how much I love them.
I wish I had enough money to buy strangers lunch all the time.
I wish I could spend weeks in different countries doing humanitarian service.
I wish all people knew that they are children of God.
I wish my mom would know she's good enough and beautiful!
I wish my brother would know he has SO much potential and I pray for him everyday.
I wish all music was made to uplift and brighten your day with meaningful lyrics.
I wish I read more.
I wish I knew how to play the piano.
I wish I was fluent in more than one language.
I wish there was no adultery.
I wish celebrities didn't get paid so much.
I wish US debt and the amount of families in poverty would decrease.
I wish I could perform in more plays.
I wish I could be in a movie or commercial.
I wish everyone knew and utilized the beauty of the Atonement.
I wish everyone would put the importance of family above all others.

I hope my family knows I love each one of them.
I hope my friends know I appreciate them.
I hope my brothers still have a testimony of the truth in their hearts.
I hope I can be a successful mother and wife in the future.
I hope I can find someone who will love me eternally.
I hope I will make a positive difference in someone's life.
I hope I can prioritize my life so God's will is above my own.
I hope I can make smooth transitions between different stages in my life.
I hope one day my whole family will be sealed for eternity.
I hope my brother will realize there is a life he can attain much better than the one he is living.
I hope my brother will be able to find TRUE joy and not just artificial happiness.
I hope to be less judgmental.
I hope to be more forgiving.
I hope to be kinder, more charitable, and more service-minded.
I hope to be better!

Some wishes can become hopes

and some hopes can become reality. 

So I guess I'm 19 Now...?

May 4th was my birthday. I'm 19 now, though things never seem to feel any different. My mom read my Facebook post saying how I loved Tangled. She was inspired. I walked into my kitchen that looked like this...

So Tangled it was. My mom was feeling all horrible because she thought it wasn't big enough for my birthday, but 1. I'm not the type to go big for birthdays 2. I was with the people who really matter and I thought that was awesome. Couldn't of been better honestly. Weird to think this will be the last present I open for a year and a half. Last birthday cake too. 

And yes, my brother dyed Lucy pink with food coloring. Not exactly sure why, buuut I'm glad he did. Haha:)

Oh and my mom bought me some sunflowers; she always says sunflowers remind her of me.

ALSO,

A few nights before and the night of my birthday I was able to reunite with my best friend Morgan. We have been friends since about 3rd grade and despite our total opposite personalities, we have so much fun together. We have had countless memories and have been able to witness each other change over the years. The one thing that won't change, is our endless goofiness. I don't care how old and wrinkly we get we will always be dancing around making the ugliest faces. She keeps me young. It will be insane to come back in 18 months and see where she has brought herself. I know she is capable of so much and always hope and pray for the best for her.